Today's been a whirlwind. I got 4.5 hours of sleep between 11:30pm and 5am, which is maybe the best night I've had yet. I was a bit cocky when I woke up. I read for a couple of hours, showered, ate, played a little with Eli, and then at 9am I drove a mile to Fletcher's Boat House with my rod and reel.
I walked about 50 yards down the canal, tied on a streamer, and started fishing from the bank. I was already exhausted and wondering if I was going to slip and fall into the slow water (I've fished here 20 times with Eli and never ever been concerned, even for him, but I ain't quite sporting the coordination and strength to which I'm accustomed) when I caught my first yellow perch, all 3 inches of her. A small mouth bass and what seemed like a 50 mile hike back to the car and I was home exhausted an hour later. I think I overdid it. I've been an emotional and physical wreck ever since. I visualize fishing (not at Fletcher's) a lot and I think going out was an emotional disappointment because it wasn't what I visualize (me wading through current, landing big rainbows, relaxing on rocks listening to the peaceful water; imagine the Elk Refuge in August, the Gunpowder with mist rising on a crisp April morning, or the Coffee Pot on the Henry's Fork). So I found myself in the "relative state-of-mind", which I fall into from time to time. It is when I think about me pre-chemo vs. me now and it is a sink hole. Liza, as usual, pulled me out of it with hugs and kisses. Then I looked at my blackberry and I read your emails and posts and I was moved to tears. You all are so terrific and supportive and I love you for it. You really do keep me going in the right and positive direction. Seriously. Thank you thank you.
When this war is over we're throwing you all a massive party. Liza's already picked out the spot. I can't wait. We may need to schedule a 4 or 5 city tour because you all are so spread out, we'll deal with those logistics later. I can't wait.
4 comments:
D:
While reading your decriptions about past fishing experiences, I could picture a beautiful locale, hear the ripple of water and feel the serenity that surrounded you. While I went fishing a few times when I was a wee lad, I've always viewed it as an activity for those that are more patient than I - until just now. Along with the NCAA Lacrosse Semis at the Naval Academy - we now have plans to go fishing next spring! 2008 is gonna be a busy year - so rest up!
Seuss
Fisherwoman to fisherman, I'd love to plan a fishing trip after your "war is over", as you put it. There's nothing like trout fishing in a stream, BUT bass fishing in Oklahoma is fun too. Traveling with kids our age is such a pain, so maybe we wait a couple of years, or maybe we suck it up and go in the Spring. We just finished our ranch house and we'd have the whole lake to ourselves. I'd love to get you and Liza to Oklahoma! Mel's brother lives in Oklahoma now, so maybe we all go together? :) Dana
D:
i felt positive energy at your house yesterday. you will get through this. i know it. it's like the 1990 NCAA tournament. elite 8. duke/kentucky. kentucky just hit the go ahead basket to take a one point lead. the momentum was going their way. 2 seconds left. duke players were exhausted emotionally and physically. they were huddled up during the timeout. Coach K looked at each player, stared them in the eyes and said "WE WILL WIN THIS GAME." right there the duke plyers knew they would not lose. Grant Hill to Christian Laettner...BINGO. game over. Duke Wins. Final 4 and than national champs. Liza is Coach K. Eli is Grant Hill and YOU are Christian Laettner. Reed can be that guy standing on the sidelines with his hands on his head crying with joy. (what was that guys name)?
Although i can't stand Duke that's the game i think of. if it makes u feel better you can replace those players with Gary Williams, Juan Dixon, Steve Blake, and Byron Mouton.
-Gary
-Gary
"Fish" is my middle name (well, it's my last name, sorta, well, by marriage - you get the picture). So, can we come to Okie for the big fishing party, too? :) No disappointments allowed, Holder! You made huge strides today - HUGE ones. An amazing solo journey FISHING. I'm so glad you had the courage to attempt it, nevermind succeed at it. Your spirit and will are amazing. There are a lot of people proud of you today! Full speed ahead!
XOX
Colleen + the boys
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