I have been in the hospital since Monday. Doctors are trying to fix my lungs, which have fluid in them. It is not smooth sailing.
My dad, a physician, is with me. I love him and respect him with my life. I am extremely debilitated and I rely on his love, decision-making, expertise, and care to get me through. Faith is very important right now. Knowing that others are caring for me and my family as if I would care is what gets me through each hour. I live minute to minute. This is the scariest time of my life. Please don't let me alarm you, I just need to be honest. When this is all over I can't wait to see how this experience changes my life and the lives of those closest to me.
As for the blog readers, I love you, love your enthusiasm and support, and I look forward to hugging each of you in the months and years to come. This will happen.
-------------
David Holder
(202) 270-3174
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Tough Times
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40 comments:
Hang in there David. You are the strongest person we know, and we know that you have the strength to fight through this. You are in our thoughts and our prayers.
David,
Use all the love surrounding you - from both near and far - to hang in there and keep on fighting. Though the minutes seem hard they will bring you to a time when you will feel better and we can all reflect on your courageous journey. We love you, admire you and we send you all our strength and power to press on.
Love always,
Caren, Mark, Cate and Jake
You have more strength than anyone I know. We are all behind you on this one. Keep up the fight.
Andy Stewart
We are with you, David. We are sending love and prayers and hugs your way. Can't wait to see you very soon!
Love, Torrey, Tony, and Nathaniel
You don't know me but I am a friend of your mother's from Second Pres in Baltimore and I have been reading your blog since January. I just wanted to let you know what an inspiration your spirit, determination and positive outlook have been to me as well as everyone who has shared your journey. I am praying for your speedy and complete recovery so you can be back with the friends and family who love you so much.
Cindy Levering
david, you continue to inspire me with your honesty, your spirit, and your determination. you - and your whole family - are very much in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi David-- I don't know if you remember me from Friends but I heard through the FS grapevine about your blog and have been reading of late. Please stay strong-- your courage is boggling and powerful and I am in awe of you.
We are in Arlington and I look forward to seeing you soon with your little guys. If your wife ever needs an afternoon, we'd be more than happy to take your two -- they are about the ages of ours! And, when you're back in DC, all of us FS alum will have you a bang-up happy hour celebration-- Lauriol Plaza (doesn't that sound much better than Red Lobster)?
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Regards, Dana (Silverman) Carr FS, 1991 and family
Ah, to wish time away, yet knowing all you really want is that time back. Hang in there. This is time well spent. For every "time" this cancer tries to strike at you, it is really just making you stronger and stronger. I am so glad to hear you have your dad with you. You seem so focused on getting well, and with your strength and stamina, it WILL happen. I will be standing in line for my hug!!!!
Thoughts for the day:
"Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life." ~William Faulkner
[And maybe Liza would understand this one more than you - ! :)]
"How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on." ~Zall's Second Law
I personally am counting down the minutes until you are well and changing the lives of so many others fighting this fight!
We all love you!
XO
CMF and the boys
PS - Working on another package. Tell your dad to watch the mail!
Persevere. You can do it. I am pulling for you and praying for you. Love, EAH
Loving, loving, loving you every moment, every breath. You are never, ever, alone. Sal
We will have that beer on the deck and watch the kids(and dogs run in the yard. Loving you and sending huge hugs, Jenny and the White Boys!
David,
I look to the sky a lot and pray so hard for you to feel better,
and you know I'm not the only one doing that!
I sure wish it weren't such a scary time. We await your next entry, hoping that you will be feeling better than you do today.
Love,
Sheila, and Troy
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family every day David. You are so strong.
Christianne (Friends '88)
"ONE to go!!!!!"
Dave--we haven't seen you in a long while (I believe the last time was at the pancake house in Bethesda, watching our kids dance outside on the "stage") but we've been quietly rooting for you through all this crap.
The quote I copied in above is from my cousin's blog. She has an 8 year old daughter who's gone through something similar to you. Haley's an amazing kid, though. And also similar to you she's kept totally positive throughout her ordeal. It's amazing for us non-challenged folks to watch and read about. I copied in the above quote because Haley's got one chemo treatment left in her regimen. And she's PUMPED!
Looking forward to the day your blog starts with "ONE to go!!!!!"
Thinking of you-
Alissa, Sean, Max, Grady and Dylan
David,
I said a prayer for you today!I just know that things will begin to turn around for you soon.Phil and I are both pulling for you!Times are so tough right now,but these times too shall pass.Thank God that you have such a wonderful father.You are blessed indeed.
Take care,
Stacie
David - Through all your optimism and determination, none of us have ever underestimated what you're going through and how strong you are to fight and win every day. Don't worry about "alarming" us - save the strength for the fight, and know that we're all here fighting with you and waiting to celebrate when it's over.
Much love, Pete, Patty, Chris, Mark and Katie (who is already more stubborn and independent than her brothers!)
We're sending you a burst of healing energy right into your lungs and into your entire body. We're praying that whatever is stuck in there can be released into healing and love. Keep on staying strong and receiving the massive support you inspire. We're there with you.
Love,
Bill, Wendy, Solomon and Althea
Dave,
Sending love your way. I wish I knew what else to say. Just know that we care and we are praying for your strength and healing.
Leeann and family
Holder -
Thinking about you often. We know that you can get through this just like every other obstacle that has come your way. Keep inspiring us.
Love,
Josh and Beth
Lots of positive energy flowing around you Dave! - its constant and remarkable - you continue to inspire us all with your love, courage and energy!
In an esoteric reference to the 1984 seminal work by Van Halen:
I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I’ve seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real
Oh can’t you see me standing here,
I’ve got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen.
Oh cant you see what I mean ?
Might as well jump. jump !
Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. jump !
Go ahead, jump.
We’re pulling and praying for you David.
- Harris and the family
David,
We'll be waiting for your hug in Maryland. I want a big, strong, long one!! Ed says his can be a little less. Let everyone take care of you and you just concentrate on recovering.
Lots of love,
Linda & Ed
You are not on this journey alone. The love and faith of your friends and family are with you.
Adam
Dave
Looking forward to the hugs, both giving and getting.
We are thinking of you
Love
Maureen, Scott, Beck and Taylor
The sky opened up yesterday to a terrential rain, and then there appeared the most beautiful double rainbow! I wished you could have been there to see it. I was in awe, I thought of you, said two prayers to the heavens above for you to continue this difficult struggle.
You will conquer and prevail!
Prayers and God Bless,
Dottie
You are in our thoughts and prayers, David. I know my Dad is also sending you strength so you can soon be back home with your family. You are a true inspiration.
With love,
Laura (Schwartz) Young and Tom, Charlie, & Henry
David....I'm really not sure what want to write. I'm angry that such horrible things are still being thrown your way and I'm sad because enough is enough. I think about you and your family all the time and I wish was there to give you a big hug and tell you how proud I am. Keep fighting- SK
Here is an excerpt from a Nikki Giovanni poem that you might like:
You are Just
If there is any Justice
Trying to find a way of not
Just surviving but living
You are just
trying to show the beautiful soul of your people
You are just
trying to say “I’m alive”
You are just
being a man
You are just realizing
your womanhood
You are just singing and smiling
because you
Just don’t want to cry anymore
You are just
falling in love
because hatred is too hard to bear
You are just
determined
to be the very best you and
You just guess
you better not let anyone take that away
You are just
a person
with a big heart and wonderful talent
That you just
think should be shared
Put a button on it
people
‘cause suspenders
Just
won’t
do
---- Get well buddy.. Mar Wil
Dave, You don't know me, however I am childhood friend of Liza's and I have been reading your blog. I'm moved by your thoughts and amazing strength. If anyone can beat this you can. Sending lots of love and healthy prayers your way. Sincerely, Alice, Michael, Ava and Sarah Gorelick
David - Big love and warm vibes from Cape Cod - keep fighting!
Love, Willie, Sandy and Mia
dave,
we're sending all our love your way!
sarah, marty and gabe
David - Here's a little tidbit from home to make today a little brighter - little Eli saw big Eli at the park yesterday and little Eli told big Eli how he got stung by a bee at the pool over the weekend and then proceeded to show big Eli the picture we printed out from the internet for him of a bee stinging a person so he could give a dramatic presentation. Big Eli looked at it all and told little Eli - Oh my Gosh! And then they played together :) He is such a wonderful boy and little Eli is so glad to know him!
As always we are thinking and fighting for you - much love - Halley, Jen & little Eli
Dave, you have inspired so much faith and strength in so many other people - your courage, humor, and perseverance has changed us all for the better! as scary as it is right now, keep thinking about all the people out here fighting right alongside you. We know you can take this one down. See you soon. Jamie
David, just focus on the good days ahead, and the minute to minutes will turn into hour to hours, and it will be that much closer to being back with your family. Love Diane & Joey
You know in your heart you're going to win. You've always known you are going to win. Keep your faith. Miracles happen every day because people believe they can happen. Your road may seem long, but your destination has not changed.
David,
We've only met once (maybe twice)(I'm a old friend of Liza's from high school) but I check your blog constantly to see how you are doing. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sandra
Hi David,
Wishing you greater comfort and ease with this tough time. You are one tough fella and your strength never ceases to amaze. Keep up the fight- our positive thoughts and energy will never stop. Can't wait to give you that big hug when we're back East.
Best,
TY (and Sam and Cat)
David,
I want to let you know that I am sending up prayer after prayer in your name. I am so sorry about the chest tubes. I have had them before, and it isn't fun. Especially when they "make" you cough and deep breathe. I know things are tough on you right now. Your strength is really impressive. Take care, Michelle
My prayers are with you, as they have been for many months. The collective spirit surrounding you is bright, strong, and constantly there. Stay in the light,
Hugs,
Elizabeth Felter Farrell (FS '88)
Hi Dave.
You don't know me and I don't know you or your family. Not sure how I came across your blog, really. I have been following your blog for a very long time and I am constantly checking in on you. I am in awe of your strength, your humor, your openess and your love for your family. The love between you and your family and friends is deeply moving. Just wanted to let you know that as well as the hundreds (thousands) of people you know out there praying for your recovery, there are even more people like me, lurkers if you will, who are thinking of and praying for you daily. I anxiously await an update from you, this awe inspiring stranger who is fast becoming a true hero to me. Hang in there, Dave! This too shall pass, I just know it!
Sending much love and prayers to you and your amazing family.....
A "lurker" :)
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