Plowing On

My body's been strong for a few days now and my mind is racing to catch up. Today I realized that my mind is constantly wandering to February, which I view as the conclusion of this treatment phase and the beginning of the next phase - hopefully my re-entry into a routine and the life I left in July. In order to free my mind of this wandering (and worrying), I have to contemplate and reconcile the future. I spoke with Liza and another great friend about this difficult question and they, as usual, were of great counsel. First of all, no need to plan for the sad alternatives because there is not much I can do other than fight back the disease; so focus on life, not death. When I get to February if I haven't considered my life plan, priorities, values, aspirations and goals, then I'll be terribly disappointed. This has nothing to do with the cancer, and everything to do with my personality. What an opportunity this is. At least a few days, and most likely a few weeks, of down time as I recover from the chemo, to consider the future. I can't pass this up. I don't expect any drastic changes, but I do expect some adjustments and a better clarity for how and why we live our life. I started taking notes and created an outline tonight. This exercise alone has freed my mind considerably.